I know it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me and that’s because, as most of you know, I’ve been writing a book. Lyndsey D’Arcangelo and I turned in the first draft of our book manuscript this week!
People kept asking me if that meant I was taking a break for a little bit after such a huge lift. Or they wanted to know how I celebrated. And the answer to both of those questions was me laughing maniacally like a weirdo because the reality is that after a week of pulling 15-hour days, during which I wrote 10,000 words over the course of two days, I filed the manuscript and promptly passed out. I woke up to take a bath and drink a milkshake and then I went to bed for the night at like 9 PM. Also, for months, I’ve been responding to every other work assignment with, “My book is due on October 13, I will get back to you then” which meant that there was a huge pile of work I’d been not looking at and filing my book meant I had to turn and stare at it and maybe cry a little at the size of the pile.
idk getting to take a break after filing a book seems like a thing people with wealthy partners supporting them get to do? Or people will full-time jobs from which they can take time off/a sabbatical? It doesn’t feel possible for a full-time freelancer like me, who took the last two months mostly off to finish this book, and is now panicking about money and feeling like I need to work twice as hard to make up for that time.
I think there is an expectation that you will feel joy or relief when you turn in a draft or complete a big project and that hasn’t been true for me. Instead, it’s been a mix of emotions: An anticlimactic “now what?” A feeling of dread because there is so much more to do. A worry that my work is not good enough. And guilt for feeling any of those things and not being able to just enjoy my accomplishment.
Anyway! While I’ve been gone, I did a few cool things that maybe you might care about:
My story for Longreads, “They Call Her ‘La Primera,’ Jai Alai’s Last Hope” was selected as a Notable Story of 2019 in Best American Sports Writing! You can read that story here, and read my newsletter about how that story came to be here.
I went on the Thank You For Coming Out podcast to talk about queerness and transness and permission to access and claim identities. It was a lovely chat and I hope you’ll give it a listen! You can do that here.
Yesterday was #internationalpodcastday and today is a new episode of @thankyouforcomingout!
I had such an awesome convo with Britni de la Cretaz. Britni (they/she) is a queer Jew and freelance writer whose work focuses on the intersections of sports, gender, and queerness. They have a book forthcoming from Bold Type Books about the National Women’s Football League. They live in Boston and you can follow them on Twitter at @britnidlc.
Please listen, subscribe, share, rate, review, rinse, repeat. Link in bio/listen wherever you can stream podcasts.
#TYFCOPRIDE #lgbtq #lgbtqia+ #improv #queer #thankyouforcomingout #storytelling #family #inclusive #brave #support #community #authentic #rainbow #transgender #trans
#bi #bisexual #gay #lesbian #rainbowpride #transgenderpride #lgbtqpride #pride #genderqueer #nonbinary #identity #wevegotyourback #visibilityOctober 1, 2020
I also went on the New England Sports Media podcast to talk about my work. I thought it was just audio which is why I showed up looking a mess and then they posted a video clip from our interview and WHOOPS. Anyway, you can listen here.
@britnidelacretaz joins us to discuss her 2017 Nellie Bly Award winning piece on racism in the Boston baseball and sports media scene!
LINK IN BIOOctober 7, 2020
The other big update I have for folks is that going forward, I will be using they/them pronouns exclusively in my public and professional lives. My bios will be slowly updated. I wrote a bit about coming to understand and claim my transness in a recent newsletter and my request, for the time being, is that I stop being included on lists of women in sports media or women in anything. You can, however, add me to any lists of trans or non-binary folks in media!
Shoutout to my amazing editor at New Leaf Literary, JL Stermer, who immediately got on the phone with me to find out what kind of support I would need around my pronoun change and brought it to the all-agency meeting to talk best practices for supporting their trans authors. I love my agent!
I hope to be sending more regular newsletters now that my book has been turned in.