Hello! And a heartwarming moment

I've wanted to write this newsletter for a while now but the longer I went without pushing send the harder It became for me to return to your Inboxes. I know It's been a while since you've heard from me, and I'm sorry. I published and book and then I just kind of... disappeared.

There are a lot of reasons for that, with the shortest version of events being that I think the book was the thing keeping me going—It was a deadline and I had a contract and another author depending on me. It gave me meaning and structure and purpose during a turbulent time of divorce and pandemic and becoming more disabled and a custody case and navigating a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship dynamic and and and.

And so. I published my book and I got through the media "blitz" (lol) and then I just sort of froze. I struggled to write and to work as my brain became entirely focused on processing everything that had happened over the previous year or two. I entered freeze mode, essentially. And the longer I was In freeze mode the harder It became to get out of It, especially with regard to this newsletter.

But the first step Is to send a message and say hello and so here I am. I hope to be writing more here and also learning to use TikTok to share my journalism and content, so keep eyes on that. I've also been on Instagram where I am documenting my maximalist home, among other things.

But enough about that because I promised you a heartwarming story.

Last night I did a Zoom event with my co-author Lyndsey, with Lindsay Gibbs and the Power Plays newsletter (It's great, you should subscribe). HAIL MARY was their book club pick and so we had a conversation with Power Plays readers and were joined by Linda Stamps, one of the founding members of the Columbus Pacesetters (you can read more about Linda In the Sports Illustrated story that ran when the book published). (A separate heartwarming story Is that when the SI story ran, Linda texted me to tell me that seeing herself featured In SI, as a football player, was her childhood dream and that we had made her dream come true and boy did I cry.)

My book was obviously published under my old name and I haven't told Linda, or any of the NWFL players, about my name change. I also never came out to them as trans—though I am out as queer to many of them—because It's really hard to know how people feel about trans people. Many of the women In the league are In their mid-60s and early-70s and while gender non-conforming women and transmasc folks have always been In lesbian community, It's also just not a given that they will be cool with It. It was so important to me that these women see me as In community with them and I think I was afraid that they no longer would If they knew I was trans.

Last night at the event, Linda never once stumbled over my name. She just used It. She didn't even ask me about It. My pronouns were on the screen and It was a non-issue. I think that so often we hear transphobia written off as something that people of "a different generation" just believe and that we must accept that our ability to be affirmed will be a challenge for people of a certain age. Linda showed me that that entire argument Is flawed. It doesn't have to be A Thing unless people choose to make It one.

It was such a lovely moment for me and I'm really grateful that I got to have It. I have a bunch of pitches out and hope to be more of a presence around here. Thanks for still being here. I'll leave you with a digital rendering of my book cover with my new name on It, which our publisher Bold Type Books made and used without me even having to ask.